When i was young i had what you all would say as the typical "american" family, mom, dad, brother and dog. I went to church every sunday and was rasied in a christian home. But i never had a relationship with him. For the first 3 years of my life everything was just about perfect. Until my mom was dignosed with cancer in the spinal cord. My life was flipped upside down. For the next few years of my life my mom become weaker and weaker. During this time me, my brother, and my mom were taken away from my family from a man who claimed to be a follower of Jesus Christ. He was not. I was only around the age of 4 at this time and i did not relize all… Read More

When I was a kid, I LOVED to play with bandaids. To me, they had magical healing powers when in reality, they just kept the yucky stuff out and prevented infections. At the age of 12, cutting became my bandaid for the things in life. When the hate, anger, abuse, fear, and betrayal became too much for me to handle, I would cut. Rather than deal with the problems, cutting covered those things up so it wouldn't affect me too badly. It started off slow, only cutting every so often, and then every little thing eventually became an overwhelming issue. Time and time again, I tried to quit cutting. I would last anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months. I would… Read More

This is a story about suicide. I wish it was a story about rescue and hope, but it's not. It's a story about victims , the ones who are left to deal with the pain,  anger, and the inevitable questions when someone kills themselves. Here, one girl describes how her friend's suicide has permanently changed her, and how she's fighting to get back to normal.

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I was born into this world unwanted.  It was apparent that my birth mother never wanted me.  It was okay though, if I would have lived with her who knows where I would have ended up?  She was a hooker and a drug fiend.  My father could have been one of five men.  I was born addicted to cocaine and blind in my left eye.  I was a sick baby and my birth mother couldn't handle it.  My nightly screaming became regular.  I just wanted to be loved.  I have always felt that God is the only one that had use for me. I was nine weeks old when my adoptive parents took me into their home.  They were both in their mid forties.  I had a big sister… Read More

I just wanted to give you a brief of my story and if you ever need it to help anyone to see that there really is hope.. Then im sure part of my story will help =]

Basically i have a phobia, that almost ruined my life.. I wanted to end everything, but i knew i couldnt, i knew i had to be strong for my family so i kept with it.  I made sure i told people how i felt so that they would know if things were starting to get bad again.

It started to get to a stage where i could never leave the house.  Id have panic attacks over everything.  I couldn't eat because i was scared.  I lost my 3 best friends over the silliest… Read More

You see, I grew up in a home with an abusive step father (verbally, and physically).  And a mother who was supposed to be my rock.  The stable one.  Well when I was thirteen they split up.  She had finally had enough of him hitting her and I, starving her, and the other endless abusive things he did to her over the years.  For the first time in my life, I felt as if I had freedom.  And I guess I took advantage of it.  I started smoking, and drinking regularly.  Never tried the whole "pot" thing.  For awhile at least.  Slowly my average straight A grade point average began slipping.  I managed to pass the eighth grade and go on to high… Read More

My dad used drugs when I was a baby. When he was on them he would get so paranoid that he would wake me up from a dead sleep or wake my mom up and make her stay up with him all night and then go to work the next morning. Finally my mom got sick of it all and my mom and dad started yelling and fighting, me sitting right there on the bed having to listen to it all. I remember screaming and crying at the top of my lungs (I was 3 years old at this point). My mom picked me up and took me to my room and told me everything would be okay (the only way I know this is my grandma told me). My mom decided to divorce my dad when I was 3. My mom picked me… Read More

I felt pain all the time, from friends, from family, and even from myself.  I couldn't take away my pain from the inside so I decided to cover up with cutting.  I have always been able to deal with physical pain so it was easier to deal with pain on my arm and ignore the pain in my heart. Then I couldn't take life anymore, so that is when I decided to kill myself.  I sat down at the end of my bed knife in hand ready to slit my wrists.  I started to cut straight across my wrist but right before I came to the main vain in my wrist I couldn't move the knife anymore. Looking back I realized that was the first time I experienced God in my life. … Read More

I am 15 and my father abused me. I spent every day in fear of him. For no reason I would be hit and go flying over tables and into walls. After a while I wouldn't even come out of my room after my father got home. In his eyes I was nothing, I can never do anything right. He died a few years ago and everyone told me how good a man he was, and how happy I should be that I had had him. In my mind I was then, and still am, asking; did he ever really love me? Read More

Walking in those halls at school is hell. My friends tell me I'm pretty. I spend 2 hours every morning getting ready for school...my hair is always done. My makeup is always perfect. My clothes always match. I always feel so fake, but I've gotton so use to this lifestyle I don't know how to just love ME. I've created somebody that isn't me. I want to be pretty. But I want to be myself. I don't know how to do them both at the same time. Every time I'm with a guy I never feel pretty enough for him. I constantly feel like I'm never thin enough or my hair is never good enough... I just want to believe I'm beautiful. Read More